International Women’s Day: The Weight Women Carry (And Rarely Talk About)
- Dominique du Pré
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
International Women's Day
Every year, International Women's Day celebrates women’s achievements — socially, politically, economically. And rightly so.
But alongside the visible achievements, there’s something quieter that often goes unnoticed:
The invisible load.
As a counsellor working with women in Maidenhead and online across the UK, I see it every week. The emotional labour. The burnout. The difficulty with boundaries. The quiet exhaustion of being the one who holds everything together. This feels like something worth talking about.
What Is Emotional Labour?
Emotional labour isn’t just “being emotional.” It’s the unseen management of feelings — yours and everyone else’s.
It looks like:
Remembering birthdays, appointments, school emails
Soothing tensions in the family
Anticipating everyone’s needs before they’re spoken
Keeping conversations smooth
Being the “easy one”
Absorbing other people’s stress
It’s the mental checklist that never switches off. It’s not dramatic.It’s not always visible.But it is heavy. Many women have been quietly trained to do this from a young age — to notice, to manage, to smooth, to carry. And over time, that constant emotional vigilance becomes exhausting.
Burnout Doesn’t Always Look Like Collapse
When we hear “burnout,” we imagine breakdowns. But the women I see in counselling are often:
Highly competent
Reliable
High-achieving
The dependable friend
The steady partner
The responsible parent
They’re functioning. But underneath that functioning is a chronic tiredness.
A short fuse. A sense of resentment they feel guilty for. A quiet thought:
“I can’t keep doing this.”
Burnout is often less about workload and more about emotional load. When you are the container for everyone else’s feelings, there’s very little space left for your own.
The Boundary Problem
Here’s something I gently notice in my work:
Many women struggle less with strength and more with permission.
Permission to:
Say no
Disappoint someone
Not respond immediately
Not be the mediator
Prioritise themselves
Boundaries aren’t about being cold. They’re about recognising that your capacity is not infinite. And yet for many women, boundary-setting triggers guilt:
“I should be able to cope.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Other people have it harder.”
“I don’t want to seem difficult.”
So the pattern continues. Until the exhaustion becomes impossible to ignore.
The Cost of Always Being the Strong One
When you are always the organiser, the peacemaker, the emotional regulator — you rarely get to be vulnerable.
Who do you offload to?
Who notices your subtle signals of overwhelm?
Who asks how you are really doing?
International Women’s Day is about equality, visibility and progress. But emotional equality matters too. If you are constantly holding others, you also deserve to be held.
What Would “Enough” Look Like?
Sometimes in counselling I ask:
What would enough look like for you?
Not perfection. Not heroic resilience. Just enough.
Enough rest. Enough support. Enough honesty. Enough boundaries.
For many women, that question feels surprisingly radical.
You Are Allowed to Take Up Space
You are allowed to:
Have needs
Be tired
Change your mind
Say no
Not carry everything
That isn't selfish. It's sustainable.
If This Resonates
If this International Women’s Day has prompted reflection — not just celebration — you’re not alone.
Whether you’re feeling burned out, stretched thin, resentful, or simply exhausted from being “the capable one,” counselling can offer a space that is yours.
A place where you don’t have to manage anyone else’s emotions. A place where you don’t have to perform strength. A place where your needs aren’t secondary.
I offer person-centred counselling in Maidenhead and online across the UK, working with women navigating burnout, boundaries, identity and emotional overload.
You don’t have to wait until you fall apart.
Try my 2-Minute Check-In below.
Sometimes noticing the weight you’re carrying is the first step toward putting some of it down.
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